**Hippies**

Hippies are the scourge of the Earth. Well, hippies and the Fox network. Hate is a strong word, so i won't use it, but hippies really make my ass twitch. There are four people here on Earth that i really have issues with, and one of them is actually my COMPLETE opposite. She in fact, is my "Soul Enemy." I've even come up with several reasons why, which i'll go into later.
Each of the following hippies is an extremely great artist and i respect their talents immensely. I even have some of their albums. As people, however, i'm a little disgusted.
Eddie Vedder - Lead singer of (as one of my friends once said) "The World's Greatest Cover Band." Pearl Jam does other people songs better than the originals did. Only Jimi Hendrix covered others' songs better. PJ also has their own collection of tier-one songs, and i love them. Eddie, however, needs to realize that people go to their concerts to hear him sing, not rant about the guy he didn't vote for.
Kurt Cobain - Lead singer of Nirvana. Worthless. Married a crack-whore, and with it, spawned a poor defenseless child, then proceeds to blow his head off; leaving the crack-whore to raise it. Real smart. Again, good music, shitty guy. I like to think that my $20 i spent on "Nevermind" bought someone a box of shotgun shells somewhere in Washington.
John Lennon - Beatles (duh.) This guy is a lot like Kurt, terrible father, horrible husband, and some even contend that he and his concubine split up the greatest band in the world. BUT, he too is also an extremely gifted artist. I don't get it.

Sinead O'Conner - Irish Cunt. This is my polar opposite. God couldn't have taken a picture of me, developed the negative and been more opposite! Here are the reasons.
1. She's female.
2. She's rich AND famous.
3. She's got NO hair.
4. She'd be drop-dead gorgeous if she'd grow it out.
5. She has a wonderful singing voice.
6. She hates/hated the Pope.
7. She's gotten boo'ed off stage.
8. Parents are divorced.
9. She's been married and divorced.
10.Got caught shoplifting.
11.She hates "The Star-Spangled Banner."
12.She's got kids.
13.She's a lesbian. (Ok, that one doesn't count. Eric Cartman and i are lesbians too.)

Say that reminds me: What do you call a 200-lb Roman wrestler with hair between his teeth?

A Gladiator.